Happy Sunday, everyone!
I was actually preparing a wholly different article (a Sucks to Be a Noob), but personal tragedies didn’t allow me time to complete it properly so I am sort of cheating with this top 5 list. No worries though, we won’t become a Newsarama type of site, where all you see are top 10 lists!
Anyway, I was watching Django Unchained, which I may or may not have acquired by unsavory means, and thought about how FUN it would be as a DOS or MECC game, by way of The Oregon Trail. This trail of thought (hahaa) led me to remember several other games I spent computer class playing when I should have been learning actual math. Eh, who maths anymore anyway!
In case you don’t remember, this was one of the fun ways to get your math on. You control a green muncher and munch answers based on the level criteria, such as multiples of 5, or even numbers. Sounds pretty easy, until you also remember the stupid Troggles who wanted to ruin your life once you reached level 15 and sat there laughing at you mockingly until you cried and started over…this may have also just been me. I wanna say there were more incarnations of the game, but I don’t remember for sure and I’m trying to not Google as this is a trip down memory lane, not a research paper.
Now, I was a smart little bastard and as such, I got to play on the old ass computer in the back of the classroom while my classmates struggled to get through See Spot Run. Spellevator was weird as hell and I played it mostly because I enjoyed Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator. I remember being a rabbit and I had to get on elevators that would only activate if you completed the word scrambles and completed the sentences. I don’t recall ever finishing the game which I assume would happen upon reaching the top of the building I was in. Now that I think about it, why the heck was a rabbit on an elevator in the first place!?
I’m willing to bet $0.25 a few of you exclaimed something along the lines of “OH YEAAAH!” or “I REMEMBER THAT GAME!” Physics was fun in this floppy game (and surprisingly, a quick glance at my app store showed me it’s only available on stupid iDevices) as you were given a variety of items, such as balloons, wheels, and who remembers what else in order to complete an objective in each level. I think this is one of those where I gave up because I have no mind for physics…which might explain my lack of proper logic.
2. The Oregon Trail
We are ALL familiar with this one, yes? A journey of semi-epic proportions with the bodies of your traveling troupe littering the road with their tombstones. I spent my time choosing the different jobs as I played each time, noting the difference in money, and in how quickly I could repair some items. Aside from actually progressing the story, I spent ludicrous amounts of time shooting bears and deer, 99% of which I couldn’t carry back to my dwindling family. I also spent silly amounts of time adjusting my meal plans and pace, sometimes starving my poor family to see how much food I could save just in case my hunting went sour.
This was my favorite out of all the games. A precursor to my burgeoning love with future games like RollerCoaster Tycoon, and SimCity in later years, that game challenged the crap out of me. I spent the majority of my games going bankrupt but enjoying every minute of it. This is the one game I hunted down in ROMs websites and played to my heart’s content, only to find out that almost 20 years later, I still couldn’t beat it. Stupid dinosaurs. Looking back at my experiences with other games, I don’t think I mastered any of the skills taught by them, so aware and embarrassed I will end here and see you guys next week!
What DOS/MECC games were you fond of as a sweet child?