The poster for 2017’s “The Mummy” from Universal Pictures
When Iron Man debuted in theaters in 2008, audiences had no idea that it would completely change the landscape of film-making forever. It marked the birth of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The MCU became a collection of movies featuring different characters all tied together as a way to multiply audience interest and profits for otherwise uninteresting movies. While Marvel pioneered the scheme, other studios quickly jumped on board, notably Marvel’s main competitor, DC Comics. Universal Pictures recently decided to dust off their “Monsters” properties and build their own Cinematic Universe. The Mummy marks the first film in what they’ve christened “Dark Universe.” But the question remains; is The Mummy worthwhile?
From the very start, Universal wanted to make sure audiences were aware that The Mummy is part of a larger framework. With press releases and announcements of Johnny Depp playing the Invisible Man, this felt unnecessary. The studio has even inserted a logo variation that morphs the famous “Universal Pictures” vanity logo into the words “Dark Universe,” almost like a new entity that produced the movie. It’s an odd addition, one done out of hubris more than anything else, and it’s completely ridiculous. It would be as if Iron Man began with a logo touting it as “A Marvel Cinematic Film.”
Just…so unnecessary
The film itself opens in an equally bizarre way: on the burial of a Templar Knight in twelfth century England. It then quickly transitions to modern-day London before flashing back to Egypt and summarizing the history of Ahmanet and her quest for power, all told through a narration by Russell Crowe’s character. Why any of this was necessary I can’t say. The only thing I can think of is that the film’s writers, of which there are six, had no faith that audiences would have been able to understand the hook without having it spelled out. That theory also explains the immense amount of verbal exposition we get along the way. For a film that’s as steeped in lore as The Mummy, I would expect an excess of expository dialogue, but Universal really took advantage of my expectations.
Tom Cruise as Nick in “The Mummy”
Most of the film gets bogged down from how hard it is to like Tom Cruise’s character. Nick…Something Or Other is an Army Sergeant/thief who has his sights set on “liberating” whatever valuables he happens to find in modern-day Iraq. He makes no excuses for his deception and his main motivation throughout the film is saving himself. There’s a slight glimmer of goodness in his character, which is dashed as quickly as it appears by way of a sad attempt at levity. I doubt the writers even realized that their throw-away joke negated any positive quality in the character, because if they did, they should have worked harder to make him more likeable.
Annabelle Wallis as Jenny Halsey in “The Mummy”
The dislike of Cruise’s character is compounded by how terribly the writers treat his female counterpart. Nick takes advantage of archeologist Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) by lying to her, sleeping with her, and stealing her map to the location of what he believe is “treasure,” but not once does he show remorse for his actions. However, when he later discovers her secret that she’s been working with a covert team of “archeologists,” she’s made to feel terrible for her actions and apologizes profusely. Even watching this through the eyes of a dude, I could see the incongruity plain as day.
As expected, the movie makes a number of humorous attempts through its big, loud action sequence but most of them are so trite and obvious that they fall flat. Not to mention that some of the biggest jokes happen at the most inopportune moment, which made it uncomfortable to even enjoy them.
The humor was another pratfall the movie continued to make. Many of the jokes happen with unfortunate timing, such as when danger was at its highest. This created a strange juxtaposition that felt awkward. Am I supposed to laugh as Tom Cruise is about to get a dagger plunged into his heart? According to the writers, yes, I am.
“The Mummy” from Universal Pictures kickstarts the Dark Universe
I can’t say that the film is entirely bad, though. It does a few things right, most notably the casting of Sofia Boutella as the titular Mummy. Boutella has an amazing onscreen presence. The way she plays Ahmanet is threatening, unrelenting, and imposing, but she also manages to ply sympathy when needed. The only downside is how much her talent is wasted on a one-note villain. Granted, Ahmanet has more depth than both Cruise’s and Wallis’s characters, but her antagonism just comes off as boring. She’s the ultimate unstoppable evil that can be easily stopped by a MacGuffin.
Then you have Russell Crowe, whose appearance in this film is solely to expand the Dark Universe. Crowe plays Dr. Henry Jekyll. Yep, that Dr. Jekyll. He was a joy to watch as he seemed to be the only person in the ensemble who bothered getting into character. While I did like the way the film introduced the Jekyll/Hyde connection, I feel like they overdid it. In a case like this, as most of Marvel’s films have shown, a little goes a long way. Universal, on the other hand, didn’t seem to trust their audience would get the allusion and needed to center an entire action scene on just how badass Mr. Hyde could be. While it was a fun scene, it slowed down the pacing of the film and took some of the spotlight away from the Mummy, who should have always been the focus of the film.
Russell Crowe as Dr. Henry Jekyll in “The Mummy”
For a movie that’s meant to kickstart a cinematic universe full of classic monsters, The Mummy lacks any sort of horror or thrills. It’s overflowing with cheap jump scares and cringe inducing creepiness (like Cruise being covered in rats), and those grow old fast. It also lacks the charm that 1999’s The Mummy starring Brendan Fraser had. At this point, it must be asked: what is this Mummy flick supposed to bring to the table, besides over-the-top action pieces?
Would I say The Mummy was a good movie? Nope. I will say that as the tent pole of the “Dark Universe,” it was fun, and at the very least, it opened the doors for films featuring a more diverse cast of classic monsters. After years of countless Dracula, Frankenstein and Werewolf movies, we finally have the chance to gets movies centered on the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Invisible Man. In the hands of the right writer and director, these movies have the opportunity to be mind-blowing. While The Mummy is mediocre at best, it deserves some credit.
Grade: C
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It’s Halloween time, and today I am counting down my top favorite horror Pops that represent the season. It’s easy to say Funko is a huge fan of the horror genre considering the dozens of Pops they’ve designed and then the legion of variants of those Pops. Some of these were tough choices and some are still fighting it out!
Deadite
To start the list is a classic staple minion monster, the Deadite, raised from the Necronomicon in Army of Darkness by our favorite B-Movie hero, Ash. This monster provides scares and laughs as you watch them get blown apart and then complain about coming to pieces.
Bicycle Girl Zombie
Probably the most well known zombie in the Walking Dead universe, this is one of the few zombies in the series to have existed in both the comics and television. Bicycle Girl is so famous that they even made a story about how she became zombified after she appeared on The Walking Dead season 1.
Pinhead
Clive Barker’s famous monster has spawned nearly countless stories of pain and suffering about those who try to meddle with Pinhead. The figure itself isn’t too intricate but it’s a marked achievement that they got something so evil into Pop form and it still retains elements that are both cute and horrifying.
Leatherface
The first official slasher on our list, this guy had some stiff competition with Ghostface from the Scream movies, but hey, I like chainsaws so he wins. Neither one has many variants, but considering how much impact Leatherface has on creating new generations of horror stories, including Scream, it’s tough not to consider his Pop.
Twisty
Twisty’s is one of the most intense stories out of American Horror Story, and for that he was rewarded with his own Pop. They even gave him a special limited edition “Freddy” version, and another San Diego Comic Con variant tacked onto that. The only other clown that I might have considered would have been Pennywise from It, but I think Funko did a much better job making Twisty than they did King’s clown of nightmares.
Sam
Arguably the main character and storyteller for the most iconic Halloween movie anthology to date, Trick r’ Treat, Sam is the spirit of Halloween, and if you don’t play by the rules you’re on his list. His Pop isn’t too intricate, but that’s part of the fun: you’d never expect such a powerful and evil being in a cute and seemingly harmless wrapper.
Universal Monsters
Funko really outdid themselves in paying homage to the greats: the original monsters that gave all of our modern ones so much to aspire to over the years. These Pops have been released in metallic, glow in the dark, black and white, and flocked variants. Several of those variants are available in sets featured exclusively at high profile conventions.
Michael Myers
The most famous and storied slasher on the list, Michael Myers was on the fast track to become a Pop and has had several chase variants to his name. Honestly though I prefer the vanilla version, unless there’s a blood splattered version I haven’t heard about.
Now for our top Horror Pop…
A Grudge Match!
Freddy Krueger
VS
Jason Voorhees
Without a doubt, Funko knew was it was doing making these 2 the first Horror classics to get their Pops. The fight between Freddy and Jason has been legendary, and so closely matched that even Hollywood called it a draw. It’s a classic match against sadistic brains versus unstoppable brawn. This year this also released a shirt to honor the blood feud between Freddy and Jason.
Photo taken by Alex Añé
So who do you think would win, Freddy or Jason? Sound off in the comments, and Happy Halloween! Don’t forget to try our Ten Family Friendly Halloween Movies to help lull the kiddos into a candy coma! Afterward, you can set the mood with Five Albums to Flesh Out Your Halloween Playlist and huddle under the covers with Netflix and Chilling – Halloween Movie Edition. Any other off-beat Halloween suggestions to throw our way? You can let us know on Twitter @SubCultured or come party like its 1599 in our Discord server!
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“Abandoned,” one of Ray Keim’s free desktop designs from his site “Haunted Dimensions.”
When I was four-years-old I remember my first venture into the Haunted Mansion, and I imagine everyone else in the ride at the time remembers it as well. I was on my dad’s shoulders so I could see better and we entered the “stretching room” with me a good head taller than the crowd. I was so terrified I began screaming and grabbing the tops of random heads around me and they had to stop the elevator to let me off.
I’ve been embarrassed of that moment until I saw actor Jason Segel, who now makes up one-third of the Hitchhiking Ghost trio in Annie Leibovitz’s Dream Portrait series, talk about having the same thing happen to him (well, maybe not the hair-grabbing) causing him to be allowed to escape mid-elevator drop.
Moving on… the year after my original visit I mustered up the bravery to make it through and I was hooked, especially since the New Orleans plantation-style home was so pristine on the outside and so wonderfully eerie on the inside. I knew I wanted to own that house one day.
A few years ago I ran across Ray Keim’s Haunted Dimensions site after visiting the park with my own daughter, and soon became the owner of my own Haunted Mansion…and then some.
Keim, an artist who specializes in CGI, works as a seasonal member of the Entertainment Art and Design Department at Universal Studios Orlando producing graphics, animations and props for shows and events at the parks. He also serves as a graphic designer for Universal Orlando Halloween Horror Nights events, including art for the Halloween Horror Nights web site.
His Haunted Dimensions site is an outlet for his appreciation of Disney’s Haunted Mansion attractions (and other famed haunted sites), as well as paper modeling, digital design and even gingerbread house building.
With Haunted Dimensions recently celebrating more than 2 million hits, Keim said he has been stunned by the site’s popularity since it first hit the cyber-screen in September 2004.
“It went live on the 27th and by the 30th I was amazed that 57 people had already visited it,” he said. “Nine months later I released my first paper model kit. That month I received 21,603 visits! My desire to have my own haunted mansion model was clearly also the desire of a lot of other people; and still is.”
He said the site still continues to draw new surfers all the time, a success he attributes to three things: the sheer size of the Internet, how universally loved Disney’s Haunted Mansion attractions are by people and the fact that people enjoy the satisfaction of making things with their hands.
“It also helps a little that I occasionally release new models, art and blog posts, but I don’t do it nearly as much as I would like,” he said.
For Keim, Haunted Dimensions is a true labor of love as he created it and maintains it spare time offering his model downloads for free. Despite Keim making no money from the site, it comes across with a professional polish that takes it beyond the appeal of a typical “weekend blogger” or fan site.
The graphics are clean and the paper model downloads are meticulously designed.
In addition to models available for all three Haunted Mansion designs (Disneyland and Magic Kingdom’s designs and Disneyland Paris’s ‘Phantom Manor”), modelers can builds models of popular scare houses from Universal Orlando’s annual “Halloween Horror Nights” and famous “haunted sites” including the Norman Bates House and the Amityville Horror home. Look closely in the windows of all these models for a little extra spine shiver.
Of his designs, his Phantom Manor remains the most popular model, in terms of numbers of downloads, followed by Norman Bates’ “Old House on the Hill” of Psycho fame. He said his best guess as to why these are top hits is the Psycho house’s style may be the most “typical” popular culture’s idea of a haunted house.
“In the Phantom Manor’s case, I suspect it has to do with paper and card modeling being a very popular hobby in Europe,” he said. “My favorite model is Liberty Square (at Magic Kingdom Park). It was the mansion that first inspired me to create Haunted Dimensions.”
In addition to Haunted Dimensions, there are other sites offering Haunted Mansion (or haunted mansion-style builds) including the premier Haunted Mansion tribute site Doombuggies.com, where visitors can download their own “Death Certificate.” Fellow modeler Trader Sam’s disneyexperience.com has models inspired by “Nightmare Before Christmas” (including Oogie Boogie’s dice and Jack’s coffin sleigh) and the mansion’s “Demon Clock” as well as build of another macabre Disney favorite, the Tower of Terror Hotel. Disney’s own “Spoonful” site at Disney Family has stylized models of Hitchhiking Ghosts, Hatbox Ghost, Stretching portrait bookmarks and new builds inspired by “Frankenweenie.”
A non-Disney site for haunted structures is “RavensBlight” with a “Toy Shop” of free downloadable, mansions, monsters, masks, games, weapons, coffins and other darkly imaginative items.
Keim is currently taking the site beyond the theme park with his upcoming original design and interactive “progressive model” and story “The Knoll—A Tresspasser at Reeves Hall.”
“As much as I love the Disney haunted mansions and the mansion themes, there is not much left to create that would interest me,” Keim said. “Haunted Dimensions is first and foremost a personal passion of mine and now that I’ve run out of Disney mansions to transform into paper, the logical thing to do is to begin creating my own haunted mansions and themes.”
He said with his extensive experience as a visual online storyteller with Universal, especially in the haunt genre coupled with his propensity to design popular paper model kits, is looking to see this model bring new life into his site. He said The Knoll would be my first attempt at creating an “illustrated environment and back-story” his own haunted house paper model kit.
“My goal is to design several related model kits, which will be released over a period of time via a simple, but spooky illustrated ‘exploration’ of the Reeves estate and house, culminating with
the release of the haunted house model,” he said.
Keim isn’t sure yet how this idea will be received by Haunted Dimension fans, who hail from all over the globe, but he hopes his combination of original design, online storytelling and the thrill of the hunt will be a draw.
“There is no doubt that my own projects will not have the same mass appeal as the Disney mansions and Universal models but there is a worldwide fan base of paper model builders, model train hobbyists, and people who just like new spooky things,” he said. “All I can do is hope that the Haunted-dimensioneers continue to support my endeavors.”
As far as his work with Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights is concerned (an event that has been voted again and again on many sites as the nation’s most popular Halloween park seasonal attraction), he is always impressed at the new ways the event has created to give guests a terrifyingly fun time with “lots of passion and craftsmanship.”
Your own personal mansions. Stock up on cardstock, printer ink and good reading glasses for free paper model downloads including the Liberty Square Haunted Mansion and Paris’s Phantom Manor.
This year’s event will even include atmospheres based on AMC’s “The Walking Dead” and the video game-turned-motion-picture “Silent Hill.”
“For the last six years I have been extremely fortunate to work with the passionate, talented Art & Design team that creates Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights. The special effects and the use of new technologies are always an exciting part of the attractions but for me the most amazing aspect of the attractions are the spectacular, movie quality environments that are created for guests,” he said. “They start with imagination and a pencil, and end with set builders, scenic painters and décor specialists creating these environments by hand.”
Even in this ever-evolving world of haunted attractions, Keim said the love for Disney’s Haunted Mansions will remain strong for generations due to their universal appeal for guests of all ages and backgrounds.
“The Disney haunted mansions are non-threatening, macabre parties,” he said. “All of the 999 spirits ‘pretend to terrorize.’ None of them are truly scary — OK, the bride is scary — Oh, so is the guy trying to get out of the coffin — And when the Ghost Host screams, but that’s all,” he said. “The effects are brilliantly executed and the mixture of creepy settings and fun-loving ghosts is the perfect mix for a great 5 minute adventure.”
All of Keim’s models, as well as links to his blog and Facebook page, can be found at haunteddimensions.raykeim.com.
Also check out Halloween Horror Night’s online/in-park game “Horror Unearthed” at halloweenhorrornights.com/Orlando.
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This picture is too literal, I can't stand it.
If you ever wondered what a heart sounds like when it breaks, I suggest you get in a time machine and stop by my calculus class this morning. While my professor yammered on about nonsense, I flittered around IMDB as usual and was greeted by the worst possible news in…well a very long time: Universal Studios announced it was passing on the The Dark Tower- the movies, the series, and even the eventual poster that would have hung in my room.
In all honesty, their decision wasn’t all that surprising. Universal hasn’t been doing well and this was going to be a major undertaking. Filming had been pushed back several times as budgets were cut and workers put on hiatus. Apparently, the suits read the first movie script by Akiva Goldman(Fringe, I Am Legend, The Da Vinci Code) as well as the first arc of the TV series and would only commit to the first film. Since the series (due to be broadcasted on NBC) was to be filmed simultaneously with the first movie since, you know, the sets were ALREADY there- this pissed a lot of film’s team off.
Both the studio and filmmakers have yet to comment on the decision, but it doesn’t take an insider to guess that it was all about money. Universal has some big projects coming up, including 47 Ronin with Keanu and some snow white movie with Kristin ”slightly autistic” Stewart, and Battleship. None of which I could give a fuck about at this point.
The sad thing is, The Dark Tower seems like a whole lot more of a sure thing and wouldn’t even need to be roofied to be a big score. Using me as a test audience: the only thing I love more than Dark Tower is probably Harry Potter, and I’ve already seen that twice, soon to be thrice. I know not everyone is as crazy(read: awesome) as me, but I can’t see any way this series isn’t a guaranteed moneymaker, which is probably why my immediate and intense descent into depression was a bit of an overreaction. Dark Tower will get picked up sometime, somewhere-if not as a movie than certainly as a series, which I would have preferred anyway. Look at how spectacular Game of Thrones and True Blood turned out. There is a market for fantasy in the more mainstream outlets (though if DT ended up a SyFy series, that’d be A-Okay with me).
So let’s all just sit back, twiddle our thumbs and wait for the new Dark Tower book until this mess is sorted out. I may even mosey on down to Turtle Bay to where The Rose is supposed to be growing and send some positive thoughts(if you’re in the New York area, do the same). I mean, I may not be the best person, but the universe (if not UNIVERSAL, those fuckers) owes me these movies. It’s Ka. 
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