Almost every member of the Sub-Cultured team has a pet, and every single one of those pets has a nerd-tacular name (you can see them in the gallery below). BUT, none of them are named after actual fictional pets, which I thought was a little odd. So herein lies an article listing fictional pets you can use as a namesake for your very best friend:
For Those With A Feline Inclination
- Crookshanks: Hermione’s orange-striped, squishy-faced companion is both gloriously hideous and amazingly over-sized. And if that isn’t everything you want in a cat then I don’t know what you’re doing .
Skimbleshanks: or really any of the names from “Cats” will do. Skimble just happens to be my favorite one, as well as one of the better songs from the show. If you’re choosing based on personality, it’s also probably preferable to have a railway cat over, say, one with remarkable knocking-things-over skills.- Luna/Artemis: especially for cats with peculiar bald spots or a tendency to speak to you about your life as a magical girl.
- Garfield: The second ginger kitty on the list, but the only one who eats lasagna and suuuuuper hates Mondays.
- Marie/Toulouse/Berlioz/Duchess: These are the main characters from the Aristocats. Bonus points for having one of each. Points detracted for naming your cat after any other characters in the movie.
Simba/Nala/Mufasa: I mean, obviously.- Spot: Data’s little buddy would make a great companion to anyone who is struggling with that android/human divide. Or anyone who doesn’t want to seem as nerdy as they really are.
- Oliver: And again with the gingers. Oliver and Company is one of the very few mostly-animal-cast movies that I enjoy thoroughly. I’d like to blame it on Billy Joel, but it’s probably because the little girl and I have the same name.
- Figaro: For a throw-back to Pinocchio in case you’d forgotten–Gepetto has a cat and a fish, probably because he also thinks wishing is how you get kids.
- Binx: The cat from Hocus Pocus. Do not recommend letting your Binx get run over by a bus. I doubt the result would be the same as in the movie.
- Alfred: The Bat-family kitten. He can be your body guard and you can call him Al. Although he’d probably let you call him Al anyhow.
Nerdy Pets Who Are Also Dogs
- Nymeria/Ghost/Lady: So okay you like Game of Thrones. I suppose how dedicated you are to the series will determine how unique you want to go with this name selection.
- Snuffles/Sirius/Padfoot: Is your dog actually your godfather, on the run from the law? In that case, maybe seek legal assistance before worrying about what to call him. Otherwise these are some great Harry Potter references for you to choose from.
- Appa/Naga: There are a lot of big shaggy dogs on this list. Huh.
- Dug: If you’re really into being reminded every day how sad “Up” was, then this is the perfect name for your dog.
- Nana: So okay Peter Pan fans across mediums can agree that Nana is easily one of the greatest characters of all time. Hands down, no arguments.
- Dodger: Back to Oliver and Company, because I’m not kidding about how much I love that movie. Or Billy Joel. Or baseball.
- Pluto/Goofy: for those of us who have a more classical interest in Disney.
- Pizza Dog/Lucky/Arrow: If you haven’t read Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye, then you should definitely do that, then name your pup after Clint’s second most-loyal companion (after Kate).
- Clifford: the biggest of the big red dogs. You can go the literal route and give this moniker to your St. Bernard, or get ironic with it and gift this name to your pomeranian. Either way it’s gonna be cute.
Wishbone: When you have a dog that can read and was born with a paw print on one ear, you don’t really have a choice but to name him Wishbone. Otherwise you can still use the name, but deep down you know it won’t be as cool. As an added bonus you can ask your pup “what’s the story, Wishbone?” and he’ll probably give you a half-hour version of a classic tale like the Odyssey.- Krypto: Superman’s dog. Krypto or Superdog might have been the first comic-book pet. He’s pretty cool and I bet your puppy is, too.
Nerdy Pets Who Don’t fit the Traditional Pet Dichotomy
- Pascal: Chameleons are really good at hide-and-seek.
- Trevor: keep a close eye on him though, I hear toads are slippery.
- Icarus: man this is from the depths of nerd-dom. Little Nemo, who is not lost nor in need of finding, has a friend who is a flying Squirrel. He has a rude name, but it’s still pretty nerdy.
- Yoshi: once upon a time my boyfriend knew a pig named Yoshi. But it would also be a great name for a turtle. Or a dino, I guess.
Chewbacca: Any pet that looks like a walking carpet would benefit from such a regal name.- Gizmo: be careful with this one. It comes with rules.
- Kermit: If you can teach your frog to play the banjo, you get bonus points.
- Abu: I like this name especially if you have a pet that can’t keep their paws to themselves. Or a magpie.
- Gus-Gus: Cinderella’s mice could sew like champs. What can yours do?
- Bowser: or, maybe not.
- Smaug: All your treasures will be super safe unless you have dwarf enemies in which case they may not be that safe.
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- Kimmie and Luke Skywalker
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- Leia’s kitty Yuki
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- Leia’s roommate’s kitty Zora
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- Mia’s fish Zuko
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- Jen’s pets Nymeria and Sif (guess which is which)
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- Sam’s puppy Ollie
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- Mia’s kitty Ophelia
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Love stories, ammiright? I mean how many times can we tell the same series of events over and over and over again? Boy and girl meet. Boy and girl do stuff that’s biologically totally normally but socially complicated and weird. Boy and girl either end up happily ever after, or they don’t. Pass.
Yeah right. From the beginning of time until the inevitable zombie apocalypse (about which there have already ALSO been love stories written…), we humans will continue to write tales about love, lust, and everything that gets mixed up in between. But sometimes one of us gets it beautifully, painfully, wonderfully perfect. One of those times was Jason Robert Brown’s The Last Five Years; a time-twisting musical Brown wrote about his own love story, which culminated in divorce and sadness (and, as a result of her depiction in the musical, a lawsuit with his now ex-wife). Last week, an official trailer came out for the movie version of The Last Five Years, and between S-C staff writer Sam and I we’ve watched it about fifty times since its release.
From Page to Stage
BUT! Some of you nerds may be interjecting. “The Last Five Years’ only lasted off-Broadway for two months! How could you be excited? Well, nerds, calm down. I’ve seen that production. I know why it managed to open in March and close in May. I also saw a re-staging in Baltimore a few years back, directed with tongue so firmly in cheek that I wanted to claw my eyes out. But good luck taking the soundtrack away from me, or getting me to listen to it without singing along.
There are only two actors in the entire play–Jamie, Brown’s stage persona, and the object* of his affection, Cathy. The story is told in two different directions simultaneously: Cathy starts from the end and works backwards while Jamie starts from the beginning, and they swap off in a series of solos. The only song they technically share is the proposal scene in the very middle, which is a heartbreaking song called “The Next Ten Minutes”. The soundtrack is beautiful from start to finish with one glaring exception–“The Schmuel Song”– which I personally find grating and obnoxious but perhaps that’s because I’ve never seen it staged interestingly**. This is one story where knowing the end doesn’t ruin the journey in the least. The fact that Jamie’s exuberant declarations of something new in his first song are matched by Cathy’s lamentations of something ending sets you up for heartbreak from the very first note. It sort of makes you wonder why we ever fall in love in the first place, when normally there aren’t even masterfully crafted violin sections helping illustrate how each step made us feel along the way.
And From Stage to Screen
The movie should be able to fix many of the problems that The Last Five Years runs into on stage, which typically include a lack of other live bodies. For two people who apparently fall into and out of love based heavily on what society tells them they SHOULD be doing, a cast of two does not illustrate that society plays any part at all. The small cast also makes it an attractive play for community theatres, who, in my experience, use little to no set or lighting design–and what they do use is frequently very literal in an otherwise subtle show. The movie already looks like a labor of love on the parts of Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan, who star as the lovers doomed from the start. Jordan even personally assured me that my fears about Schmuel are baseless, by responding to one of my cranky tweets on the matter.
@Jenisaur @Last5YearsMovie @AnnaKendrick47 don’t worry. it’s arguably one of the best parts of the movie.
— Jeremy Jordan (@JeremyMJordan) September 19, 2014
Kendrick has done some super nerdy tweeting of her own on the matter of the film, as seen below in this conversation about musical keys:
@StephLauren Thanks girl! You’re the first to notice! I was scared but Paul Gemignani got me through it! Xo — Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) December 6, 2014
My co-writer Sam’s reaction is summed up as follows: “The trailer opens the same way as the soundtrack: ‘Jamie is over and Jamie is gone.’ As Anna Kendrick sung those seven words and the music trickled into the background I couldn’t help but feel a sense of calm. Cathy’s opener ‘I’m Still Hurting’ is easily one of the most heartbreaking songs in a musical about relationships. The trailer couldn’t have been a better way to exhibit the always beautiful voice of Miss Kendrick and the sultry sounds of Jeremy Jordan. Here’s the thing, I’m still scared that one of my favorite musicals could be an awful film. But for right now, in this moment, everything hurts, and oddly enough, everything is okay.” It’s that complexity of pain and happiness that makes The Last Five Years so habit forming–and the trailer highlights just a few of the best songs in the show. I think the film format, and some expanded dialogue, will do this musical good. Gaps will be filled in where before there was only conjecture, and for a musical that asks so many complex questions about love and loss, we don’t need any added inquiries.
Another reaction I’ve gotten is from my younger sister, who was attracted to the trailer by her total fan-boner for Jeremy Jordan.*** She is not unfamiliar with the musical, having grown up in a house with,well, me, but the actors were definitely the main draw for her . “My first impression of the trailer was to scream, because I had waited long enough for a trailer and release date–but I’m really just looking forward to seeing how well they did a movie with essentially a two person cast. I’m really looking forward to seeing Jeremy Jordan’s chemistry with Anna Kendrick, which will have to drive the movie.” The first day that the trailer was live, she sent me a series of screengrabs in an email titled “3 of the many reasons Jeremy Jordan’s going to be amazing”. This was my favorite from among her selections:
I think my work here is done.
The Last Five Years comes out, somewhat cruelly, on Valentine’s Day 2015.
*I use “object” here very deliberately
**Fellow Sub-Cultured writer Sam firmly disagrees with this assessment as he loves The Schmuel Song, but you know. This isn’t his article. So…
***when he tweeted at me she threatened never to speak with me again. Also she might have more than just a fan-boner for him.
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