25% Match | 75% Enemy
ScrHHEiekMothman_Kneel1996
70, Male?, Point Pleasant, WV
MY SELF SUMMARY:
SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(censored)
What am I doing with my life:
SHRIEKAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNYANG, SHREEEEEEEEMA, OMNAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(tapping into phone lines, guessing games, destroying bridges)
I’m really good at:
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMYIEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEORCKAHA
SREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
NYAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMUROAH SCRAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(tapping into phone lines, harassing horny teenagers in woods, guessing games, destroying bridges)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:
SHREIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAMAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(likes soft lips, rotary phones, sinks, Ordnance Works, Debra Messing, mothman digest, open windows, silos, porch lights, chapstick,
CSHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(soft lips, rotary phones, open windows, porch lights, chapstick, Debra Messing)
Aquaman is the Embodiment of “Fine”
REVIEW | The Punisher Season 2
Sub Cultured Heads to PAX South 2019!
REVIEW | The Batman Who Laughs – #1
Sub Cultured is Heading to DakuCon 2018!
Do you have a blog? Most people do. I have about twenty (but who cares, no big deal right? I mean I kinda want more). Whether it be blogspot, tumblr, or a made from scratch domain where you post mindless flotsam and jetsam, host an original webcomic series, or just post your writing or artwork portfolios or just pictures of your obese cat, your sites are more or less a piece of you or at the least what you want to offer or present to the public. Depending on how interesting you are or what you have to offer you can quickly amass views and followers. This much is pretty much assumed or well known about the blogging experience; but I feel there is a dark side pertaining to a condition that is oft ignored. If one does not know how to confront and treat it, could mean dread and the death of a blogging career; Big Time Attentionitis. In fact a loved one could have already contracted BTA and have lived with it in secret and in shame.
She hit 15k followers
A common but relatively unstudied anxiety condition, BTA is the sudden wave of dread and uncontrollable panic relating to sudden attention from a particular individual or individuals and or the collective masses suddenly following your blog medium and then sharing your work. There are two particular subgroups:
1. Viral Mania
Big Time Attentionitis Viral Mania, or BTAVM is the first subgroup or variation of BTA which arises when a post or a piece of work goes utterly viral, causing an influx if not never-ending number of views and followers, fanmail, messages praising or interested in your work. This can include kind comments to constructive criticism, rebuttals and or a sudden rush of open discourse to even, if you’re lucky, job offers. This causes feelings of deliriousness (sometimes rather positive if offered a book deal), anxious eating, chugging of iced tea (both straight lemon and long island), constant refreshing and in severe cases an absolute abandon of looking at your own blog, overwhelmed by the interest. There is so much interest, you actually loose interest. Or just become a nervous wreck as if locked in a witch’s castle.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m frightened Auntie Em shit I’m frightened.
BTAVM does extend to the discovery, sharing and ultimate virality of video blogs and or uploads of original videos either candid humor, animal videos or as a performer. You must however note if the content that has triggered the public response and virality is of particularly ignorant and or hateful content (mostly on mediums such as Twitter and Facebook) and met with an overall negative response, that panic at such criticism is not BTAVM but BPIS, another seldom researched condition called Douchenoodle Infamatitis. Otherwise known as you’re just an awful person and you should feel bad.
The second sub group, BDFBTA, in contrast is more specialized and hyper-focused condition based on a particular individual.
2. “Big Deal Follower”
The quieter but by no means less stressful subgroup; Big Deal Follower Big Time Attentionitis or BDFBTA is the sudden awareness of and panic when it comes to your attention someone much more popular or well known on the internet is actively reading, subscribing, reblogging, talking about or showcasing, overall engaging to your content. At its most simple BDFBTA is triggered with something as simple as the notification of said “big deal” personalities subscribing to your page or blog, or may appear via a comment, or reblog, pingback, noodledeuce, pinsyup, owl, quibble, etching and or the now venerable tweet sharing of your work or site. The BDFBTA manifests out of the “oh shit” moment when you realize if someone like that (whomever is considered pertinent) is tuning in to you, and that you may actually be going somewhere. If it is simply just noticing they are subscribing to your work but quietly so without any sharing (yet) there is an additional variation of BDFBTA that can manifest; GDVBDFBTA or Grand Delusion Via Big Deal Follower Big Time Attentionitis where the anxiety is particularly tied to the fantasy that your work could hit virality if said person did reblog or feature your work and one’s life can then subsequently fall more into place. Which of course would in most cases result in a subsequent case of BTAVM.
Symptoms of all forms of BTA besides those mentioned above include large grinning and face squeezing, loud swearing, outbursts of every emotion, nail bitting, head bashing, key bashing, crying, heavy napping, jumping significant others’ bones, jumping other people’s bones, jumping your own bone, excessive beverage sipping, stomping in puddles, floor rolling, and samosa eating. Overcompensating and wanting to impress said particular new “big” followers or the masses may produce mediocre subsequent work. Severe cases people outright just delete their blogs. Or themselves. Finding oneself in your desktop recycling bin just happens.
A celebrity just tweeted about her line of cat sweaters so she deleted everything.
If you or your loved one has a form of BTA; have patience. Goldfish quickly move on quickly and as we all know, we are all really goldfish. So rest assured people will actively forget your ass when the novelty runs off. In the meantime breathe. Less breathing. Moderate breathing. Little quieter. Perfect.
Other forms of BTA to look out for:
MVBTABS
BOBTA
BLTBTA
RELBTAGBA: San Antonio
B&VBTA
YMMVBTA
LOKBTA
STFUBTABT
Be careful! See you guys soon.
Max Eber
Staff Writer/The Doctor
max@ihogeek.com
Twitter: @maxlikescomics
Aquaman is the Embodiment of “Fine”
REVIEW | The Punisher Season 2
Sub Cultured Heads to PAX South 2019!
REVIEW | The Batman Who Laughs – #1
Sub Cultured is Heading to DakuCon 2018!
Whether it’s school, work, or hey something you actually want to do that involves some personal one-on-one attention of the “I have to sit down and tend to this” type, everyone out there has something they have to get done. But sometimes, we can struggle getting things done. It’s a common, common problem and one I know very, very well. Distractions. Stress. It all stands in the way between us and finishing what needs to get done.
Luckily I have become such a master of getting things done I will offer a simple list of things you should do in order to get all your tasks squared away.
So to start: you have something that needs to be taken care of. Let’s call it X. Whatever X it is that needs to tended to (innocent or illicit) is up to you.
1. Set up or get all your materials needed. If on a laptop or doing anything that requires sitting and working at a desk or bench, set up what you need to do and exit and or remove other distractions and clutter. Free your space to be able to work.
2. Some people really need music in order to function well or need background noise. “I really wanted to see that movie anyway,” or “I’ll put this show on I seen it so I don’t need to pay attention”. Play loud big band, Norwegian folk, Chopin or vocaloid music. Sounds of a rolling river, a train station full of footsteps, wind chimes. Swedish metal. The Ring. Whatever relaxes or energizes you to get X done. Marathon it.
Gettin it done.
3. If you have a dog, let the dog out, because he’s been looking at you. If you happen to not have a dog it’s probably your cat that needs some attention. If you don’t have a cat then it’s probably your significant other. In the case of one having all of the above or children and the latter are not the focus of your task at hand; let all of them out. If you have neither of the above you probably have a lizard so feed them a cricket. The little scamp.
You can’t say no
4. Return to X. You should be able to start to work now. But you’ll probably be thirsty. It’s incredibly important to the process of getting things done that you then go to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water, preferably with really crunchy ice-cubes. Lemon can spice things up. But while you’re there you remember the tickle in your throat and its pretty chilly outside. If this happens to you it is paramount to the task at hand to then go put on a kettle for tea or make a cup of coffee.
5. Slosh water on floor. Your dog, cat, significant other or child will be calling to come back inside by now or your cat and or significant other or child was not let out it will be back to see what you are up to, more than often they will have thought you were going to open some form of food. Wipe up water, this is key to your process. Then let your dog, cat, significant other or child back inside or acknowledge their current presence.
6. You now have your ice water, but you do need a snack in order to get stuff done. So go get your snack. If you end up cooking for like, five hours that’s perfectly fine.
7. Return to X with food, your ice water and get stuff done. It should come effortlessly. Research everything from mythology to color theory depending on X’s needs if on a laptop. Have over 50 tabs open. Your tea or coffee is ready. Go get tea or coffee.
8. Burn yourself. Return and work on X. Emotional scene in film or TV show makes you cry for a few hours. Return to X. It is 11 pm revel in your tenacity.
9. Your dog, cat, significant other and or child is a bit neglected. For goodness sake attend to them.
10. It’s 10 hours later. Finish. In tears.
Yay you’re done!
See you next week!
Max Eber
Staff Writer/The Doctor
max@ihogeek.com
Twitter: @maxlikescomics
Aquaman is the Embodiment of “Fine”
REVIEW | The Punisher Season 2
Sub Cultured Heads to PAX South 2019!
REVIEW | The Batman Who Laughs – #1
Sub Cultured is Heading to DakuCon 2018!
Since dear readers Jen and I cover this weekly, I thought I should not do an immediate in depth spoiler-tastic reaction and review for my article this week like as I would usually be compelled to do especially for a series finale.
I will gripe though this entire season has been lacking two-parters and as such a lot of the emotional impact and narrative build-up that had been so strong in the past two seasons during two parters is very much missing. Even the best of episodes this season have suffered from being crammed into one episode. This finale was no different and while impactful (in a HUGE way) it is a whole lot less epic than it could have been with the even more intricacies and revisits to what I guess are now red herrings that could have been allotted if they had allowed this to breathe across two episodes. And, as I stated in our response for last week’s episode this week’s finale was five minutes shorter than “The Pandorica Opens” and “The Big Bang”. You can fit a lot in 5 minutes. Overall while pretty good, this episode without a doubt could have been much more effective and much more compelling as a two-parter and better for it. Hello Silence? Where are you? You don’t want the Doctor to go to Trenzalore. Also the “fall” of the Eleventh has come to be in a VERY different manner than expected. Additionally, I will say, a lot of my speculation for the plot and what would occur was correct. Were attentive viewers in the same boat?
I really don’t know why I put up with this television show.
Also, there may be a further mystery when it comes to Clara than we thought. Or so it may seem if going by a single line that seems to suggest there is something else there. The tone of the delivery was more than suggestive. Otherwise, this episode wasn’t without its emotional punches. AT ALL.
Nevertheless, dear readers, I give you my no-spoilers (sweetie) overview of the episode for those who have yet to watch it in the convenient form of a knock-knock joke:
“Knock Knock”
“Who’s there?” (Oh god let me die this pun is too much)
“HERE HAVE SOME EMOTIONS”
“No really I didn’t want that, no, please tell me who’s actually there?”
” I HEARD YOU LIKE BEING UPSET”
“No, no please just tell me who is there, what is your name.”
” I’M BREAKING THOUGH THE WINDOW!”
” NO STOP I WILL OPEN THE DAMN DOOR – WAIT, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU”
” DOESN’T MATTER HERE HAVE SOME TEARS I HEARD YOU ENJOY THEM SO MUCH”
” I REALLY DON’T WANT THESE JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE THERE BEHIND THE DOOR”
” FINE I’LL JUST BREAK DOWN THE DOOR ON TOP OF YOU WITH EMOTION”
” WAIT NO I STILL DON’T KNOW WHO IS THERE WHAT IS YOUR NA-“
“EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WAS A LIE”
*Is crushed by a door*
Max Eber
Staff Writer/The Doctor
max@ihogeek.com
Twitter: @maxlikescomics
Aquaman is the Embodiment of “Fine”
REVIEW | The Punisher Season 2
Sub Cultured Heads to PAX South 2019!
REVIEW | The Batman Who Laughs – #1
Sub Cultured is Heading to DakuCon 2018!
Nothing impedes a writer or journalist like finding oneself descending into writer’s block. Terrible. Awful. The. Words. Won’t. Budge. You can’t write a thing. Rubbish. Terrible. Nothing. Nope. Nope. Nada. Boring. Sheesh what even is that sentence. Oh god I hate this character. What even am I doing. How could I ever. Oh god what is this topic. No one wants to read that. What. Is. Awful. This. Writing.
Like dat clipart? Oh yeah kicking it old school. Photo from MixedDigital.com.
Really, how does one cure it? Well, I have seen many, many guides online and in books. Most contain lots of tips to kickstart your thinking; prompts, exercises, extensive or entirely specific journaling, intense faux-mystical breathing. In and out. In and out. Walk away, come back. Throw your laptop or typewriter (oh ho we’re really going old school, let me get my inkwell and pen) out the window, retrieve it and apologize thoroughly. Fifty intense mental push-ups, five games of finger football and then building an incense altar to the Muses or for some of you dear writers, more…lascivious gods. These guides hope that once one has completed said rituals (the above is paraphrased, the true rituals can last over 5 hours depending on which methods and books you choose), one’s writing ability is would be gloriously restored. Words return and flow. The Muses (from Hercules) now appeased appear and sing gospel in your ear. Plot rolls onwards and bends to your will. Characters die beautifully. Everything is right with the world!
Well, quite frankly all that is fine. That’s dandy stuff. Really it is. But for me, yes, for me, I find they all miss the biggest piece of advice and in my opinion perhaps the best thing to do when combating writer’s block. The secret to combating writer’s block? I give three key points:
1. Accept it and succumb.
2. Accept it and succumb.
3. Accept it and succumb.
Yes. That is the key. Accepting it is the best key. Yes. Let go of trying. Let go the want, and the need to write. Plot? Who cares. Character being a pain in the ass? Pft let them be. Article not writing itself (say what?), fine let it be awful or just go unwritten. Let the writer’s block seep around your ankles, let it rise and consume your legs, and up around your entire body. Laugh as deadlines tick closer and closer. Lie back and fall into the soft, rippling dark waters of writer’s block and complete inability. Yes. Let it all go.
I stopped caring and have reached the plane of blissful existence where people laugh with salad.
Once writer’s block has successfully, entirely pulled you under, filling your lungs and effectively drowning you, only then will one see the golden light of inspiration. I have died a literary death quite often in this manner, dragged down by a siren grip, only to be reborn with much better facilities. It’s always darkest before dawn and all that wonderful stuff. It’s like you are a literary phoenix, well if a phoenix was more like a fat little quail.
I…AM…PHOENIX!
So yes, dear writers out there if you are ever plagued with tied up words and limp noodle inspiration or incentive; throw out all those yoga and tantric breathing whilst journaling underwater for writers and… just embrace it and let it suffocate you, entirely.
Max Eber
Staff Writer/The Doctor
max@ihogeek.com
Twitter: @maxlikescomics
Aquaman is the Embodiment of “Fine”
REVIEW | The Punisher Season 2
Sub Cultured Heads to PAX South 2019!
REVIEW | The Batman Who Laughs – #1
Sub Cultured is Heading to DakuCon 2018!
I am currently down here in sunny Orlando Florida, USA, having a blast following my first official academic presentation on Doctor Who and Peter Pan just yesterday (at the time of writing this article) at my first academic conference as an independent scholar.
Having now completed my first foray into presenting, and in the spirit of my last few guides, I’ve decided to provide twelve great tips and steps to help you dear readers in your possible personal quest to present at an academic convention.
- Find an actual topic and thesis you can argue until you turn blue and die.
- Actually research your stuff. Like, it’s kind of important.
- Note cards are a necessity. I thought they would be unnecessary but that proved false (Jen was right as she usually is) and keeps your presentation tidy and short.
Look at all of these colors. Color coded. Woah. Amazing. A++ presentation future.
- Be genial, smile, and engage the audience as you sit in utter authority at the front of the room.
- Either read excerpts from your paper or a scripted presentation or choose key points and argue them informally but certainly informed.
- Sacrifice Iphigenia before you present to ensure a successful presentation.
- Powerpoint presentations are often very helpful in trying to convey your arguments, especially if you use moving gifs and cracked out pictures specifically pulled from tumblr.
- Cat gifs are especially convincing.
- I was kidding. Cat gifs tend to not help make convincing arguments. They’re just cute. And cats. But making a deal with Mephistopheles does.
Harry Clarke illustrated Faust oh yeah. Getting stuff done now.
- Pick (as in steal) and eat lots of loquat fruit off of loquat trees planted on the hotel grounds. They are very delicious small fruits that taste like a solid fruit smoothie with a flavor and texture somewhere in between a peach, apricot and mango with tangy citrus overtones. Make sure they are a golden-apricot yellow before picking, picked too soon they are much more sour citrusy. They have very big seeds sometimes a lot in such a small fruit, big enough that you can throw them at people. Jen didn’t want to try them, but I made her and she said they were good.
yum look at these tasty fruits.
- Brush your teeth before you present. No spinach nastiness now.
- A clear, loud and assertive speaking voice encouraged, you want to find the right balance between Kindergarten Teacher and demonic possession.
If you follow these steps and submit a good abstract and proposal to the conference of your choice, you too can give a great presentation. Note, only 1-5, 7, 10- and the first part of 12 are actual good advice, please do not do the others. Or do and tell me how that goes. But do eat loquats. They’re delicious.
Max Eber
Staff Writer/The Doctor
max@ihogeek.com
Twitter: @maxlikescomics
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