The thing about the Christmas season that I enjoy the most is that out of any other time of the year it is the most backwards looking. There is no other time of the year (at least for Americans) outside of extremely regional cultural heritage festivals and perhaps Easter that things from yesteryear are brought back into the public consciousness and it actually be paid attention to in such a big mainstream manner. Classic film, swing jazz and big band, Old Hollywood glamor, ballet and all things “antique” or vintage and Victorian frilled are suddenly very important for 5 or so weeks and onto New Years. Suburban homogeneity is punctured with yesterday or even the ghosts of suburbia past come to visit just the same.
The sheer paganism of the traditional customs, decorations and foods of the season is enough to send my heart a flutter but the season’s various “styles” of nostalgia; Colonial, Victorian, 1920’s and 30’s Christmas and 50’s-60’s Christmas and now 80’s and 90’s era “Age of Nintendo” type nostalgia provide a “pick your yesteryear” type of holiday.
One of my favorite types of Christmas, which is common in Britain and the UK but not so prevalent in the warm and fuzzy “Santa Claused” (since the 1930s) USA, is the “Gothic” side of Victorian Christmas traditions. A Christmas Carol ring a bell? Unlike the US where Halloween is the season for ghosts and spirits and telling spooky tales; Christmas is actually the “time to scare” and Victorian Christmasases with their obsession with the supernatural often had lots of fortune telling parties (pouring hot lead into kettles of water to tell fortunes) and ghost stories among other little things amidst their Christmas party frivolity.
In the spirit of all things “sort of” creepy and the macabre and charming I will be offering three great “antique” reads still published by NYRB in case you have some hankering for things a bit less sweet;
A Schoolboy’s Diary by Robert Walser
That quirky, aloof and contemplative charm and degree of weaves in and out through most of the works; particularly the opening pieces “Fritz Kocher’s Essays”; a collected handful of essays written by a fictional and unfortunately deceased school-boy named Fritz Kocher. A personal favorite from Fritz; “From The Imagination” hits all of my personal buttons when it comes to good fiction. A very unique writer and while not “scary” his prose is beautiful quirky and contemplative enough to warrant a reading by the Christmas tree with a cup of tea.
The Black Spider by Jeremias Gotthelf
His story delves into a tale of the area where long ago poor and desperate villagers, tormented and tortured by their local baron, a former Teutonic Knight, are tempted by the Devil to help complete the impossible tasks the baron has ordered of them. There is, of course, a catch; a unbaptized baby (what else?). The villagers; including all the men flee and run from the offer. All but one, a farmer’s wife named Christine stands up to the Devil and considers the offer if only to save them all. She makes the deal with a kiss upon her cheek; but as the villagers have babies and instantly baptize them; a a mark in the shape of a spider starts to appear where the kiss was planted upon her cheek. Then come the spiders. Forewarning; heavy Christian symbolism and it’s not terribly feminist though I do think this story and the actions of the main character, Christine could again with a bit of a revisionist feminist stance and re-write could really transform this old parable. But it’s still worth reading if you enjoy some creepy crawly action.
Autobiography of A Corpse by Sigizmund Krzhizhanovsky
Russian short stories. If that doesn’t prepare you in knowing it’s going to be strange then I’m not sure I can adequately prepare you. Magical realism meets surrealism dunked in the special Eastern European sensibility and aesthetic and a heavy dollop of “SCIENCE! PHILOSOPHY! MATH!” sour cream; the fingers of an acclaimed pianist’s hand decides to bolt and spend the night roaming the city, a story about a man whose lifelong dream is to bite his own elbow, stories about eccentric mathematicians and fairytales about cracks, The Land of Nots. The whole kitchen sink (well not really but that’s what it feels like)
What makes these gleefully macabre and matter-of-fact is the precise delivery of Sigizmund’s prose. It’s eccentricity and sense of self really shines through. I can’t say recommend it enough for a fun, but in a very literate manner.
Short, sweet, wonderful prose for stockings that like a little bit of bite. Check them out!
Have a GREAT holiday!
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Ah crap, Valentine’s Day is coming up.
Chocolate Han in Carbonite…because, really, who doesn’t need one?
Some of these ideas (the ones that fall into the PG and below category, of course) are great for the fangirl or boy in your life, and could even be a family effort that Dad and the kids can work on together, helping to rack up some extra brownie points for everyone!
Here are some thoughts to get you going:
Star Wars:
Star Wars is perfect for every day in general, so it’s an obvious choice on Valentine’s Day!
Number one pick: the chocolate Han Solo in carbonite. It’s a Think Geek exclusive, but you can also purchase some ice molds of the same image that work well as chocolate molds (another fun handmade project, hint, hint) from various sources (Sears even had ‘em online for under $10).
These should, and I stress should for optimum impact, include a pair of handcrafted “I love you” (for her) and “I know” (for him) aluminum rings. They’re around $25 for the pair, or you could opt for cuff bracelet versions of the same.
Han and Leia his/her rings
Do I even need to mention the “cosplay” possibilities, here? I will give one piece of advice, be creative and avoid the Slave Girl outfit… (unless you get your hands on that Wampa-skin rug) There are lots of ways to get the scoundrel on without having to worry too much about keeping a metal bra in place.
For the Bat-Fan:
Get a simple Batman-logo pendant necklace. You can get these anywhere, ranging in price from pocket change to high end. Give it with a yellow and dark purple bouquet of roses or other Dark Knight-colored blooms, and you’re golden.
It also wouldn’t hurt to get a heart-shaped cookie cutter and draw some bat logo them as well, as a way to send a deliberately corny “Bat Signal” of love someone’s way.
As for cosplay, if you want to steer clear of the clichéd Catwoman-Batman on again/off again (although I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t), go with Bruce’s Baby Mama, Talia al Ghul. Careful, a possibly evil love-child future Robin might result from this liaison.
Dexter:
Dexter Sugar Slides…to die for…
Deep down inside the blood baths (literally) and profane, potty-mouthed mess of Miami culture that is Dexter, there is something incredibly romantic about the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad guys, struggling with his own humanity as a single parent.
Check out the recipe for Dexter’s “biohazard” blood slides candies at forkables.com that can be given in a paper slide box you can get in the science fair area at any craft or educational items store. Not expensive (how expensive is sugar, water, corn syrup and food coloring?), but also comes with a learning curve! This one is for the patient, but if you can do it right, they are incredibly authentic-looking.
This is also a great gift for guys, if you accompany it with a nice-fitting Hurley-style thermal “kill shirt,” often found, appropriately enough, in “hunting” sections of sporting good stores. You don’t have to spend the bucks on an official version of this shirt; they are everywhere.
Game of Thrones:
This graphic and exciting fantasy book and television series also has a soft side, and what queen in the making would want to be bestowed the gift of dragons’ eggs?
If you don’t want to spring for the brass-and-silver Dragon’s Egg necklace — a little pricey at around $70 from the HBO shop — there’s a cheaper, but just as cool-looking paperweight.
Another idea is to pick up a “Game of Thrones” themed pint glass or stein, and fill it with chocolate eggs. You can also make your own with recipes found anywhere from Martha Stewart to Better Homes and Garden…then dragon them up. It shows you were thinking creatively (or a least you heeded well from someone who thought creatively for you).
Lord of the Rings:
Of course, you can always tone it down a bit by opting for the “Lord of the Rings” themed gift. (There are dwarves, sword battles, dragons and Sean Bean in that series as well, only without the yak-inducing brother-sister action and tongue-ripping-out).
Evenstar pendants from Noble Collection, Warner Brothers shop, Amazon and other sites start at around $40, and are beautiful. But, technically, shouldn’t we be giving it to him to wear if we want to stay true to the story?
As far as any private Renaissance Faire for two, all a fangirl has to do is emerge Daenerys Targayen-style from a steamy bathroom with a stuffed dragon on her shoulder (for those brave enough) and she could have her man cleaning the house, doing dishes and detailing the car for months.
Big Bang Theory:
One of the biggest sellers on many geek-friendly sites was the singing “Soft Kitty” plush toy that can found for anywhere from $29 to $35. It’s actually cheaper if you don’t get it from the official CBS store. Yes, it includes Penny’s poorly pitched voice, but much less annoying than the “teddy-bear-holding-a-heart” V-Day gift fallback.
The perfect guardian for your House Flag.
If you want to class it up, give it with a costume “Tiiii-aaarrr-aaa” and make your fangirl or boy feel like a royal for a day.
Want to bring it over the top, try your hand at a preserved snowflake. Here’s where the family can really have fun together, since this is a super cool (no pun intended) project. Do this for any Big Bang fan and they will, unlike the snowflake, melt. Even if it is too late for this year, you can plan ahead for next year’s first snow,
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