Game of Thrones is gritty, bloody, violent and dirty….and it makes me hungry. Oh so hungry. Welcome to Fictional Feasts!

As unwashed and smelly as you can imagine the world of Westeros can be, you can’t deny that the banquet and feast scenes with their plates of food, have big appeal. While the wedding feasts are…less than ideal, the lucky thing is that you too can feast like a Lannister, Tyrell or Martell minus that other….stuff. You  don’t have to go to Medieval Times or a Rennfaire for it either, you can do it at home yourself, and authentically so with easy recipes straight from the medieval age back when Europeans actually used spices (okay, the British).

Pulling from various online sources such as godecookery.com,  medievalcookery.com and GreneBoke.com  (which all have bountiful resources regarding food at the time in Western society and extra recipes that are surprisingly tasty looking, go check them out!) we’ve put together a menu for a Game of Thrones style authentic medieval feast as if put together by Margaery Tyrell taking advantage of all the fresh fruits, breads and fish she picks up at the market while attending to the people.

The menu we put together is mostly made up of smaller bite sized, easily portable and scoop-able foods so you can easily do your feast picnic style outside lounging on pillows. Like you deserve. Let’s be real, the Iron Throne is uncomfortable.

Menu

Drinks:

You gotta go the Tyrion way here; booze.

Potus Ypocras (recipe from England, 14th century) Wine mulled with honey and spices

Game of Thrones beer or find the most rustic beer, mead, grape wine, hard fruit ciders/wines and ale you can find.

Sides:

Easy sides like these aren’t pov characters but they have a great supporting role and fills up your plate.

Fruit, preferably seasonal (Whether it’s fresh fruit, whole or  fancy schmancy cut up and drizzled with pine nuts and honey, canned cocktail mix in syrup, or cooked applesauce, it doesn’t matter what; go wild)

Greens (spinach, recipe from Netherlands, 15th century) cooked spinach with sage and white wine

Salat (Salad, recipe from England, 14th century) sweet onion and herb salad

Seafood:

Whether encased in pastry or fresh grilled these make good options for weary friends who don’t tend to eat red meat or horse heart. The pastry pies in particular would serve a picnic style setting well. Margaery doesn’t mess around without having options, nuh uh.

Salmon pie (recipe from Germany, 14th century) salmon in pastry pie

Scallops (recipe from Italy, 14th century) scallops in garlic sauce

Pykes in Brasey (recipe from England, 14th century) Grilled fish in wine sauce

Meat & Cheese:

Hearty main dishes not too different from a lot of summer bbq party or suburban Tupperware Khaleesi picnic menus. A lot of our favorite cheese varieties are old as hell. All are extremely portable. You can easily make roasted bbq chickens in the same sauce for the Stwed Beeff.

sustaining

Stwed Beeff (Stewed Beef, recipe from England, 15th century) beef ribs in a wine, currant and onion sauce

Almôndegas (Meatballs, recipe from Portugal, 15th century)  mini meatballs

Makerouns (Macaroni, recipe from England, 14 century) Macaroni and cheese! 

Dessert:

Pre-chocolate western desserts. “Strawberries in Snow” is a shockingly modern fluffy concoction straight from Sansa’s crushed princess dreams; substitute the wine with other liqueurs (We’re partial to something orange-y or hey strawberry itself!) for a less heavy taste.

Frytour blaunched ( recipe from England, 14th century) almond-filled pastries baked in honey & wine

Sambocade (recipe from England, 14th century) elderflower cheesecake

Strawberries in Snow ( recipe from England, 16th century), strawberry in whipped-cream meringue with rose, ginger and wine

Enjoy! Play around, look at the sources to make your own feast there are as many options as there are characters. How many? So many.

If you do partake in our feast or put together one of your own, please tweet pics of your meals with #dinelikekings , #allmenmustfeast and #fictionalfeasts to @Sub_cultured on twitter, we’d love to see what you made! Reenactments of Margaery and Joffrey’s Purple Wedding highly encouraged (but only pretend!)

Happy Eating!

Max Eber
Staff Writer
@maxlikescomics