At first I was ready to react with either delight or horror at the whole idea. It was something I assumed would cause some kind of reaction from me. But as I watched the just-over-a-minute long teaser trailer, I was, to be honest, pretty bored.
Sometimes late at night, in between the marathon runs of Arrested Development and the oddball foreign movie, I check out movies I'm recommended through saucy Facebook messages of "watch this!!!" TiMER is one of those recommendations. Starring the adorable, blonde Emma Caufield, and new obsession John Patrick Amedori, TiMER is labeled as a science fiction romance that is sure to tell you when you meet the "one." So was it any good? The basic premise puts a neat twist on the old worry nagging most single people in their prime: will I ever meet the one? In this time of technological advances, a company has created TiMERs, which guarantee to count down to the day you meet your soulmate. Oona, who has had a TiMER for quite some time, has yet to see a countdown appear on her device so she brings TiMERless dates that have potential to get a device, only to be crushed when no countdown appears on her device. Her most recent disappointment weighs heavy on her mind when she meets Mikey, a grocery store clerk who has four months on his TiMER until he meets his soul mate. Against … Continue Reading ››
Due to the insane and probably misplaced loyalty that I have towards actors that I like, I was dreading the day when I’d actually have to watch Battleship. I never saw the remake of Straw Dogs, so I figure that I must some how owe Alexander Skarsgård one. However, thanks to the wonders of Netflix, I’ll be able to put off watching Rihanna act for another few months at least. Click the jump to get my review of the newly streaming Melancholia, starring Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, and Kiefer Sutherland (with some Eric Northman thrown in to the party). First, fuck the first 9 minutes of this movie, which managed to pack in more slow motion than a Zack Snyder movie. In an effort to trick me into thinking this would be a science fiction film, Melancholia opens with a sequence of strange shots which include Kirsten Dunst’s sad face in front of a background of falling dead birds, a bride running through a forest while being attacked by trees, and a moving planet colliding with Earth. The last bit I mentioned (the one with the colliding planets) is actually, if not a driving plot … Continue Reading ››