Hey everyone! It’s that hotly contested time of year again when people are made painfully aware of their relationship status. In order to keep you all occupied today, I, Jen Rose, promise articles every three hours. I can not and will not guarantee the quality of the articles… but I can promise you they are coming.
Admittedly I don’t spend all day on Vines or meme sites like some of my friends, but I still catch a fair share of them and if I am in the mood (or extremely drunk) I can binge on them for a bit.
So what are Vines?
In this day and age it’s easy to get behind on what the latest and greatest thing is via the internet, and by all means Vines could be considered old. In fact, I bet several people reading this are already scoffing, thinking to themselves, “Who the hell doesn’t know what a vine is? Vines are so last year.”
Vines are six second (sometimes seven) videos about anything, everything, and absolutely nothing. They are a novelty in modern media storytelling. While naysayers point to them as a sign of the internet generations ever shortening attention span, I see them as a storytelling challenge that many people have accepted. When only given six seconds to create something engaging or funny what would you do? Some Vines fall flat on their face while others can make you laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all. I feel like the extreme limitations Vines put on content creators forces them to think outside of the box and since the viewer only loses six seconds of their life, creators can put riskier ideas into their video without much penalty.
Here’s a video of a Vine compilation to help catch you up to speed. Some of the Vines are simply comedic, some showcase magic, and some even critique modern society. I feel like as this shortened form of storytelling evolves we are going to get some really interesting ideas out of them and hopefully storytellers will learn from them and cut out some of the fluff and hone in on a more direct train of thought. So what I’m saying is, that by creating shorter, more free form content, we may be sharpening our skills for us in creating deeper and more powerful stories when applied in other arenas.
Just some food for thought.
Do you have a blog? Most people do. I have about twenty (but who cares, no big deal right? I mean I kinda want more). Whether it be blogspot, tumblr, or a made from scratch domain where you post mindless flotsam and jetsam, host an original webcomic series, or just post your writing or artwork portfolios or just pictures of your obese cat, your sites are more or less a piece of you or at the least what you want to offer or present to the public. Depending on how interesting you are or what you have to offer you can quickly amass views and followers. This much is pretty much assumed or well known about the blogging experience; but I feel there is a dark side pertaining to a condition that is oft ignored. If one does not know how to confront and treat it, could mean dread and the death of a blogging career; Big Time Attentionitis. In fact a loved one could have already contracted BTA and have lived with it in secret and in shame.
A common but relatively unstudied anxiety condition, BTA is the sudden wave of dread and uncontrollable panic relating to sudden attention from a particular individual or individuals and or the collective masses suddenly following your blog medium and then sharing your work. There are two particular subgroups:
1. Viral Mania
Big Time Attentionitis Viral Mania, or BTAVM is the first subgroup or variation of BTA which arises when a post or a piece of work goes utterly viral, causing an influx if not never-ending number of views and followers, fanmail, messages praising or interested in your work. This can include kind comments to constructive criticism, rebuttals and or a sudden rush of open discourse to even, if you’re lucky, job offers. This causes feelings of deliriousness (sometimes rather positive if offered a book deal), anxious eating, chugging of iced tea (both straight lemon and long island), constant refreshing and in severe cases an absolute abandon of looking at your own blog, overwhelmed by the interest. There is so much interest, you actually loose interest. Or just become a nervous wreck as if locked in a witch’s castle.
BTAVM does extend to the discovery, sharing and ultimate virality of video blogs and or uploads of original videos either candid humor, animal videos or as a performer. You must however note if the content that has triggered the public response and virality is of particularly ignorant and or hateful content (mostly on mediums such as Twitter and Facebook) and met with an overall negative response, that panic at such criticism is not BTAVM but BPIS, another seldom researched condition called Douchenoodle Infamatitis. Otherwise known as you’re just an awful person and you should feel bad.
The second sub group, BDFBTA, in contrast is more specialized and hyper-focused condition based on a particular individual.
2. “Big Deal Follower”
The quieter but by no means less stressful subgroup; Big Deal Follower Big Time Attentionitis or BDFBTA is the sudden awareness of and panic when it comes to your attention someone much more popular or well known on the internet is actively reading, subscribing, reblogging, talking about or showcasing, overall engaging to your content. At its most simple BDFBTA is triggered with something as simple as the notification of said “big deal” personalities subscribing to your page or blog, or may appear via a comment, or reblog, pingback, noodledeuce, pinsyup, owl, quibble, etching and or the now venerable tweet sharing of your work or site. The BDFBTA manifests out of the “oh shit” moment when you realize if someone like that (whomever is considered pertinent) is tuning in to you, and that you may actually be going somewhere. If it is simply just noticing they are subscribing to your work but quietly so without any sharing (yet) there is an additional variation of BDFBTA that can manifest; GDVBDFBTA or Grand Delusion Via Big Deal Follower Big Time Attentionitis where the anxiety is particularly tied to the fantasy that your work could hit virality if said person did reblog or feature your work and one’s life can then subsequently fall more into place. Which of course would in most cases result in a subsequent case of BTAVM.
Symptoms of all forms of BTA besides those mentioned above include large grinning and face squeezing, loud swearing, outbursts of every emotion, nail bitting, head bashing, key bashing, crying, heavy napping, jumping significant others’ bones, jumping other people’s bones, jumping your own bone, excessive beverage sipping, stomping in puddles, floor rolling, and samosa eating. Overcompensating and wanting to impress said particular new “big” followers or the masses may produce mediocre subsequent work. Severe cases people outright just delete their blogs. Or themselves. Finding oneself in your desktop recycling bin just happens.
If you or your loved one has a form of BTA; have patience. Goldfish quickly move on quickly and as we all know, we are all really goldfish. So rest assured people will actively forget your ass when the novelty runs off. In the meantime breathe. Less breathing. Moderate breathing. Little quieter. Perfect.
Other forms of BTA to look out for:
RELBTAGBA: San Antonio
Be careful! See you guys soon.
Staff Writer/The Doctor
Tumblr: great for cats, great for fandoms, great for porn, and shite for instant messaging and direct communications between users. Until now! Babblr is a pay-what-you-want Chrome plug-in that was launched into cyberspace only to crash almost immediately due to insane demand and unprepared servers. A few weeks ago it was back online and the internet, from peasants to tumblr famous, rejoiced.
Tumblrs have been clamoring for a chat feature on the site since it shifted from a pure blogging platform to a social networking giant. Started to follow a Brony/Homestuck blog and now want to spend your time chatting away the hours with fellow fans? Well prior to Babblr, this was mind-numbingly impossible. You could create a chain post which would get lost in your dash or abandoned because it’s a little awkward and cumbersome. You could message someone on their blog, though woe to you if you attempt to reply to someone because the messages auto-delete once a reply is made. Nonsense. Tumblr’s users don’t want to broadcast their content to have it be consumed and passed along by anonymous followers. They want interaction, feedback, and certainly most of all: community.
Here’s an explanation of how Babblr works in true Tumblr form, but in short, you won’t be able to send or receive instant messages to or from other bloggers at any time without adding them first (thank you developers for understanding your crazy userbase and protecting us from ourselves). There is also a neat group chat feature that has the potential to keep you connected with your fandoms and friends. Other functions include a censoring tool that turns certain bad words that tumblrs love into nonsensical phrases (you can totally turn this off) and the ability to block other users with the option to unblock later on (again, thank you for your self-awareness, Babblr).
Babblr’s relaunch was made possible by support from developer Realtime.co, and the teams are currently working to bring the system to other browsers, but if you have Chrome, get Babbling!
It’s summer time, my brain has shut off. I’m spending a lot more time than I normally do on the internet, because I am a cool twenty-something with an active social life.
I’ve returned to tumblr with a fervor and I can’t help but check this site, “Is It the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Yet”, at least once a day. This is my new favorite blog, because it’s got the perfect amount of information for my brain to handle at once, and also it reminds me that Doctor Who will eventually be on my television once more. Although the blog has only been running for three days so far, it strives to give us a different way to say “nope.” every single day, until that glorious day when the answer is “yes!”
In the mean time, here are some pictures of Doctors and their companions:
This is where an image of the Doctor and Clara would go, but I decided I don’t actually like them.
I’m going to go listen to Harry Potter on audiobook, because it still isn’t November 23rd. Bai guys.